


I rather hurt you than do what they do (lie to you)

by sunkissedworld



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Ambiguous Relationships, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Arranged Marriage, Drinking, Dysfunctional Family, Engagement, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family Drama, Flashbacks, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Lies, Lots of alcohol, M/M, Minor Violence, Misunderstandings, Party, Rare Pairings, Secrets, Suspense, attempt at mystery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28419177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkissedworld/pseuds/sunkissedworld
Summary: “Bokuto is sitting by himself.” He mumbles, gesturing with his head to where Bokuto is located.“I talked to him earlier,” Oikawa says, feeling Osamu finally relax next to him, though his eyes stay focused on Akaashi who is waiting for Atsumu to finish a conversation with a group of nameless guests. “He doesn’t want to talk about what happened,” Oikawa adds.“Any luck finding out what exactly happened?” Iwaizumi asks what’s left of their group.“Must’ve been something serious if we are all here celebrating Atsumu and Sakusa’s engagement,” Suna says, earning a glare from his friends for his lack of tact.
Relationships: Implied BokuAtsu, Implied SakuAka, Komori Motoya/Yaku Morisuke, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Miya Atsumu & Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 14
Kudos: 31





	I rather hurt you than do what they do (lie to you)

**Author's Note:**

> Here is some of my fav rarepairs. I tagged the two actual couples (Osamu/Oikawa and Yaku/Komori) the other pairs are mainly implied, see if you catch them all. There is a poly ship in there as well.  
> The story switches from the present time, to flashbacks. The parts in italics are flashbacks.  
> There is a plot in my head, but I don't know if I did a good job sharing it with my writing. Either way, thanks for reading and please enjoy!

“We have to stay for at least two more hours,” Osamu declares, his eyes on the little paper they were each handed when first arriving. “That’s when the press leaves.”

Oikawa hums, taking one hand out of his pockets to wrap around Osamu while resting his chin on his shoulder. “I doubt your parents will let us leave right away. They probably want us to stay until the very end.”

Suna, who stands a few steps behind them, snorts. He looks up at the sky, eyes focusing on the moon as the cold wind picks up again, gently pushing his hair away from his face. “I doubt they will expect that from me, so I’ll leave when the clock strikes ten.”

“I second that,” Komori mumbles, folding in on himself from where he sits to keep his body warm. Unlike with Suna, the wind isn’t kind to him as it messes with his neatly styled hair.

“Good to see we have your endless support.” Osamu jokes, a hand covering the hand Oikawa has around him to shield it from the cold.

“I just don’t trust myself to keep face for the whole evening.” Suna huffs, kicking a rock over to the other side of the street as he steps closer to his friends. He moves to stand next to the couple so his eye can rest on the two figures sitting side by side at the edge of the sidewalk. That’s when he catches sight of the bit of smoke trailing from his friend. “Are you seriously smoking?”

The question is directed at Akaashi, who glances at Suna before throwing the cigarette on the ground and stepping on it. “I'm stressed,” Akaashi explains, rubbing his hands together to keep them warm.

“Yer cold. Which is why I don’t understand why you came out here in the first place.” Osamu scolds, causing Akaashi to roll his eyes.

Akaashi had been the first one to leave the banquet hall for some fresh air and quiet. He made himself comfortable sitting on the sidewalk, facing the empty street and enjoying the silence when Komori came out yelling his name. He sat next to Akaashi, pulled out his phone, typed out a fast message and two minutes later Osamu, Oikawa and Suna were joining them, completely getting rid of the silence.

Akaashi had originally planned on just staying out for a few minutes, but with his friends out to keep him company, he couldn't bring himself to move. Even if it was too cold.

“It's better than being in there.” He says, glancing in the direction of the banquet hall before going back to stare at the pack of cigarettes he holds.

Oikawa and Osamu share a look but keep themselves from saying anything. From where Suna stands, his hands itch with the need to do something— as if there is anything to be done about the tension in the air. He too keeps quiet, but with no one to share a look with, he lets his eyes focus on Akaashi’s tensed shoulders.

For a second, Suna remembers that regardless of how he feels tonight, other people’s feelings are much more concerning. Though Suna is upset and a bit irritated, it doesn’t compare to the wagon of emotions Akaashi must be dragging. _Not just him,_ he thinks as he turns to look over the banquet hall.

“We really take the friends of the year award, huh?” Suna mocks, focusing for a second on the music that comes from the hall. From where they stand he can still see the people inside, dressed elegantly as they dance or stay in their little circles to the side while they gossip. “We really should be in there showing our support.”

Oikawa sighs, “we are all horrible liars, though.” He presses his body closer to Osamu, the wind picking up once again.

“And terrible actors,” Komori adds.

Akaashi hums, crossing his arms to shield his body from the cold. “So is Bokuto.”

It's funny really, the way everyone tenses with just hearing his name. Furthermore, the words carry more weight since Akaashi is the one to speak them. The four other men feel almost inclined to bow their heads in shame, once again remembering how this night must be affecting the people around them. It almost feels stupid feeling annoyed and upset when their lives are hardly affected by tonight.

“He shouldn't have come,” Oikawa mutters, eyes closing for a second to collect his thoughts. Y _ou shouldn’t have either,_ he thinks before glancing at Akaashi. “I don't know why he came. Fuck, I don't know why he was even invited.”

“Probably mom’s idea,” Osamu relents, gripping onto Oikawa’s hand for comfort.

Komori laughs humourlessly, “or my uncle’s idea. We can never know with those two.”

“Either way, Sakusa or Atsumu should have done something to prevent this,” Oikawa says, anger evident in his voice. No one says anything, silently nodding to Oikawa’s words, wholeheartedly agreeing. Though a part of them knows how hard it would have been for either of them to go against family orders.

The wind picks up one more time and this time the five of them stay quiet as they get lost in their thoughts. Akaashi eventually lights up another cigarette and lets Komori smoke half of it even while they feel Suna’s disapproving glare from behind them. A few minutes pass before it starts getting colder and the silence becomes too much for Osamu to bear.

He makes a comment about the night and Oikawa takes the hint and adds to the conversation. Komori eventually brings up the latest rumour in their social circle and soon enough they find themselves talking about mundane topics, filling the silence while they try to ignore the cold air.

It’s Komori who eventually bothers to check his watch while they are discussing the latest business deal the Miya’s finalized. He regrets it when he realizes it's been more than half an hour since they made their way out here, and though that isn't enough to call it a night, it's enough to have their absence noticed and the last thing they want is people talking shit about them being shitty friends for leaving their friend's engagement party—which they would never do, no matter how much they want to.

“We should go back inside,” Komori says, standing from the ground. “Come on, we can't leave Bokuto all by himself.”

“He has the others,” Oikawa whines but steps back to allow Osamu out of his hold. They intertwine their hands together before Oikawa is the one leading the way back to the hall.

Komori waves Suna over to help him stand while Akaashi frowns, looking at his friends. “Can I just smoke—”

“No.” Suna cuts him off, extending out a hand for each of his friends to grab. Akaashi sighs but takes the offered hand. “Smoking is bad for you. I thought you quit.” He says pulling both of them up.

Akaashi grumbles and without giving a response he walks alongside Komori, dreading entering that suffocating room once again.

-o-

_“Bokkun smokes,” Atsumu points out one afternoon while they study in the library._

_Akaashi looks up from the book he is reading. Atsumu’s eyes are focused on Akaashi’s pack of cigarettes that rest next to the pile of books he has by his side of the table. He waits for Atsumu to meet his gaze before Akaashi raises an eyebrow and asks, “who is Bokkun?”_

_Atsumu laughs, shaking his head in amusement. He taps his pen against his notebook a few times before saying; “just a guy.”_

_“A guy?” Akaashi asks, eyes going back to his book._

_“He works for the company my parents hired to overlook the construction of the beach house.”_

_Akaashi lifts his gaze one more time. “Beach house?”_

_Atsumu blushes, “A gift, for Samu and I.”_

_Akaashi thinks over those words and concludes Atsumu must be hiding something. Unfortunately, he doesn’t care enough to call him out on it. “I see.”_

_It isn’t until after a few minutes of repeating the name in his head that Akaashi realizes the familiarity. “Bokuto?” He asks, looking up from his book to once again meet Atsumu’s gaze. Atsumu blinks at him, his surprise evident while he now taps his pen against his lip. “Bokuto Koutarou?”_

_Atsumu, for some reason, flushes. “How…?”_

_“I didn't know he was back,” Akaashi mumbles to himself, closing his book to fully focus his attention on Atsumu. “Why did you call him Bokkun?”_

_“It's just a nickname,” Atsumu says, putting his pen down. He stares at Akaashi, feeling restless as a few questions form in his head. Though by the way Akaashi’s studies him, Atsumu feels like he won't be getting many answers._

_The silence stretches and eventually; “of course it is,” Akaashi huffs and then adds a little softer, fond even; “how cute.”_

-o-

“Do my eyes deceive me or is that Tsukishima?” Komori blurts the moment all five of them are back inside, enjoying the way the heat of the room collides with their frozen bodies. Four heads turn to face the direction Komori is gesturing towards, and true to his words, Tsukishima is standing by the appetizer table talking to Sakusa.

“What is he...” Oikawa trails off realizing who exactly they are talking about. He turns to face Suna, only to find his friend’s eyes facing another direction and— ah, not good.

“Of-fucking-course.” Suna mutters eyes boring holes on Kuroo's back.

“They were in Europe,” Komori mumbles, now noticing Kuroo is also in attendance, “I swear they were in Europe.”

Osamu shrugs, “I’m sure my parents extended an invitation.”

Komori frowns, mirroring Suna’s expression as they turn away from Kuroo to avoid his gaze. “You’re telling me they came back just for _this_? Why?”

“Blackmail.” A new voice calls out. Akaashi is the first person to notice Yaku’s approaching figure. He nods politely, giving his greeting as his friends follow his example.

“On who?” Suna asks hesitantly before he turns his head ever so slightly to finally let his eyes rest on Tsukishima. He swallows, not expecting the rush of emotions that course through him as he takes in every detail of the man he hasn’t seen for almost a year now. He hasn’t changed much but at the same time, Suna feels like he is looking at a whole new person. Someone he doesn’t know.

Yaku rolls his eyes, moving to stand next to Komori who called a waiter over to grab a glass of champagne for himself. Oikawa and Osamu also take a glass while Suna makes sure to block Akaashi from getting any. “Kuroo,” Yaku finally answers the question, glancing at said man before stealing the last bit of Komori’s drink.

“Which is why he is on the other side of the room,” Oikawa notes, noticing the way Kuroo casually glances at Tsukishima every once in a while, his shoulders tense.

“Tsukishima has no idea, of course, he just came because it was a social event he was expected to attend. But it was Kuroo who bought the tickets and made the decision final.” Yaku sighs, handing back Komori his empty glass, ignoring his pout. “We have to give it to our elders, they sure know how to play their cards.”

-o-

_“I can't believe ya finally confessed to Komori,” Atsumu loudly exclaims, causing a few heads to turn in their direction. “I always thought he woulda been the one to confess first.”_

_Yaku freezes, mouth hanging open as he stares at Atsumu shocked. “You knew he liked me?” he squeaks._

_Atsumu laughs, drawing more attention to them. Yaku pinches him but that hardly does anything to stop people’s gawking. “_ Everyone _knew.”_

_Yaku glares, fist-clenching because no, not everyone knew. He didn't know and that piece of information could have been very helpful. So out of revenge, Yaku says; “just like everyone knows you like Bokuto?”_

_Yes, Atsumu choking on his drink is worth spilling the information he had promised not to mention until Atsumu told him himself._

_“I do not!” Atsumu denies, but it comes out weak and Yaku doesn't even dignify that with a response. “I don’t!” Atsumu whines and after another knowing look from Yaku he is quick to add; “you can't tell anyone!”_

_“But_ everyone _knows.”_

_“That’s-!”_

_“Fine. I won't say anything.” Atsumu smiles, breathing out a sigh of relief. Yaku chuckles to himself, staying silent as the people around them finally turn their attention away from them. Once he is sure no one is trying to eavesdrop on their conversation, Yaku hums before saying; “but really, Bokuto Koutarou? Out of all the people— you pick_ him? _Ha. You must have a death wish.”_

_Atsumu throws his straw at Yaku and then leaves the coffee shop, face bright red._

-o-

“Suna, Tsukishima is looking at you.”

“I know,” Suna says, biting the inside of his cheek.

Komori sighs. “He probably wants to talk.”

“I know,” Suna replies again, this time not hiding his annoyance.

Osamu elbows his friend, “ya can't just ignore him.”

“Why not?” Suna snorts, twirling around the glass Osamu handed him a few minutes ago. He hasn’t even taken a sip but he is sure it’s probably a cocktail that’s too sweet for his taste. “He's been ignoring me for the past year.”

“And you think that doesn't hurt him?” Yaku scowls, earning a glare from Suna.

“How the hell would you know if it hurts him or not?”

Yaku scoffs, “are you dense? It’s not hard to tell.”

Suna rolls his eyes, “don’t be ridiculous. If he cared…”

Yaku raises his hand in surrender. “Believe what you want. It’s not like assumptions and lack of communication have ever caused anyone any harm.”

Akaashi tenses much like Suna. Though he doesn’t say anything while Suna chooses to mumble a _whatever_ before letting Osamu change the topic. “They are starting to clear the tables.” He says, glancing around the room. His eyes land on his boyfriend who stands a few feet away, conversing with his parents.

Oikawa looks like he is fighting back a scowl. His shoulders are tense and his smile is strained. Osamu thinks about going over to rescue him but he manages to catch the eyes of Iwaizumi, who stands further away, and with a quick raise of an eyebrow from his boyfriend’s friend, he knows to stay put.

“It’s almost nine,” Komori adds before walking over to grab one of the miniature tarts they have on one of the tables. He eats it before returning to stand by Yaku. “I’m sure there is going to be more alcohol circling around before it’s time for the speeches.”

Suna snorts. “I guess we might have Sakusa to thank for that.”

Akaashi risks a glance towards the man that was just mentioned, and to his surprise, he meets his eyes the moment he finds him standing at the other side of the room, by himself and nursing a glass of champagne. Akaashi stills, getting lost in the depth of Sakusa’s dark orbs. He feels like he is frozen in time, the room silencing around him while the distance between them seems to slowly vanish as they continue to stare at each other.

Akaashi feels his mouth part as his throat goes dry. Sakusa’s lips move and Akaashi is drawn to them before he looks back to his eyes to catch him blink, breaking the spell. Akaashi is the first to look away.

“I won't be surprised if he ends up an alcoholic.” Komori comments, his eyes finding Sakusa though his cousin instantly looks away the moment their eyes meet. Komori holds back a scoff. “Though this alcohol _is_ making the whole evening a little more bearable.”

“Speaking of alcohol.” Yaku says, “should one of us cut Bokuto off?” Yaku gestures towards the left side of the room where Bokuto sits next to Ushijima and two other men. The table is decorated with plenty of empty glasses. Bokuto has his hand wrapped around a glass of champagne while what looks like a glass of whisky on the rocks rests to his left.

“He needs alcohol more than any of us,” Suna says, finally finding the energy to drink the cocktail he holds in one gulp. He winces when he is done. Definitely too sweet.

“After the speeches.” Osamu states before hearing Oikawa call out his name. He excuses himself after his friends agree to his words.

-o-

 _“We won! We won! We won!” Atsumu cheers, bottle raised high as the people crammed in the house continue chanting_ 'we are number one' _in the background._

_Komori laughs, throwing his arm over Atsumu 's shoulders and pulling him closer, “I told you we could.”_

_“Yer the one that had no faith in us!” Atsumu scowls, pushing Komori away. “And get off, yer sweaty and ya smell.” Atsumu scrunches his nose, forcing a laugh out of Komori._

_“You are the one that stinks.” Komori teases, leaning in to press his sweat-filled hair against Atsumu 's neck._

_Atsumu whines, pushing Komori away with more force as his friend crackles. “Yer disgusting.” He hisses, taking a good gulp from the bottle he holds._

_Komori watches on amused. “Where did you get that? I want a bottle too!”_

_“Omi’s stash,” Atsumu replies, taking another gulp before he is wiping away some sweat from the side of his face._

_Komori follows his example, pushing back his sweaty hair as he glances around the room. He thinks about risking his life to steal from his cousin’s stash but he knows if Sakusa were to find out, he would be in more trouble than Atsumu. Sakusa has always had a soft spot for the blonde, whatever punishment awaits will pale in comparison to Komori’s._

_The next best thing is to just take Atsumu’s bottle and get him to steal another one from his cousin. Komori is about to put that plan into action, especially considering Atsumu’s attention seems to be drawn to something further inside the room._

_Komori steps closer to him, following his line of sight. It’s not long until he catches sight of what has Atsumu transfixed. Komori grins, elbowing Atsumu so he can watch him raise his eyebrows suggestively. “So you ended up inviting him?”_

_Komori knows Atsumu knows immediately who he is talking about since his first reaction is to blush furiously and to attempt to deny the question. Komori laughs at his friend, patting him on the back fondly. “He is probably waiting for you.”_

_Atsumu bites his lip, shyly turning towards the direction he was previously facing. “I'll see you later?” He says though Komori knows he hardly means it._

_“Sure.” Komori agrees anyway but Atsumu is already walking away._

_Komori watches him until he reaches Bokuto. He catches both men smiling and he decides it's time for him to find his own special someone._

_(He ends up taking a bottle from Sakusa’s stash on his way over to Yaku and he is caught red-handed. He throws Atsumu under the bus but in the end, he is the only one that ends up with an earful from his cousin. No surprise there.)_

-o-

Oikawa suffers through a fifteen-minute conversation with Osamu’s parents before his own parents come to the rescue. Although, they aren’t much of a rescue since two minutes in, the topic they shift to has them all walking over eggshells as they try to avoid stepping on any toes. Oikawa slowly begins to lose his patience and decides to call his boyfriend over, trusting he can manage their way out of the conversation.

Osamu joins them with a smile similar to Oikawa’s, and though he had high hopes his boyfriend would be on his best behaviour, his witty words and sarcastic comments quickly escalate the situation. Thankfully, before Osamu can say something he won't be able to easily take back, Iwaizumi struts forward, greeting both sets of parents before excusing himself and the couple.

Oikawa grips Osamu’s hand tightly after Iwaizumi pinches Oikawa’s side in a warning and they step away, walking back towards their friends even before they can be properly excused. Though neither set of parents bother to stop them.

“The last thing we need,” Iwaizumi starts when there is enough distance between them, “is to make a scene. The press is still here.” He adds with a hiss. Osamu clicks his tongue while Oikawa pats his friend’s back, trying to look a bit apologetic, even though there is nothing he feels particularly sorry for.

“Why is the press still here?” Oikawa ponders. “At this point, I think they will be staying after ten. Why are the speeches taking so long?”

Yaku, who catches Oikawa’s words as they join the group, responds with a shrug. “I imagine Sakusa and Atsumu are doing their best to delay the inevitable.”

Suna hums, bumping shoulders with Iwaizumi as a greeting. “It won't be long now.” He says, gesturing towards the side of the room where a few people seem to be setting up a mic. “Where’s Lyn?” Suna then asks, his attention back on Iwaizumi before his eyes begin to search for the petit child.

“My daughter is in her fairytale phase. I can't bring her to a place where dreams are crushed and the villains win.” Iwaizumi jokes humourlessly.

“That's Iwa-can speak for it's the mother’s turn to watch her,” Oikawa says.

Suna huffs, “and here I thought I could babysit her for the rest of the night to avoid this stupid party.”

Yaku doesn’t bat an eye. “You mean to avoid Tsukishima.”

“Tsukishima is here?” Iwaizumi asks surprised. Osamu is the one to point at Tsukishima, who is now just chatting with Kuroo. “Kuroo too, huh?” he turns to look at Suna only to get a quick _'don’t ask_ '. Iwaizumi shrugs, “Komori?” He asks, facing Yaku.

“He went to get some air with Akaashi.” Yaku answers with a frown.

Suna sighs loudly, “which means they are probably smoking. _Again_.”

“If you are not going to let Aka-chan drink, let him have his smokes.” Oikawa says, “God knows he needs them.”

Before any of them can respond to that a cameraman comes forward with a reporter trailing close behind. The cameraman takes a picture of them without a warning and the reporter is then quick to start up a conversation with Osamu, keeping his recording device nearby as he goes through a list of a few questions regarding his family business, his relationship, and finally Atsumu’s engagement.

Oikawa stays close to Osamu’s side, smiling politely as he helps his boyfriend answer some questions. Yaku and Suna are quick to step away though with a quick look from Iwaizumi they don’t go far.

When the reporter is done talking to the couple, he turns to Iwaizumi and begins going down a similar list of questions. Though Iwaizumi doesn’t bother faking a smile when the reporter brings up his recent scandal. Oikawa and Yaku visibly wince when they hear the reporter ask about Iwaizumi’s daughter, and in extension, about his recent relationship that has come to an end.

Suna whistles, watching Iwaizumi’s face form an impressive scowl that has the cameraman hesitating before taking another picture. The reporter, however, doesn’t back down.

“I rather not discuss my personal life on this special day.” Iwaizumi says through gritted teeth.

“Right, right. We wouldn’t want the spotlight taken from the happy couple.” The reporter comments, instantly bringing a frown to all of their faces. It’s soon after that he excuses himself, the cameraman bowing before they both retreat.

This time it’s Yaku who calls over a waiter. They all take a glass, Iwaizumi being the only one to finish it in one gulp, handing back the glass to the waiter before he walks away.

“Don’t cause a scene now,” Osamu says, tone sarcastic. “That’s the last thing we need.”

Oikawa pinches the top of his nose. “ _Samu._ ”

“Hilarious.” Iwaizumi deadpans just as the group’s attention is drawn to an approaching figure.

-o-

_“One more lap?” Iwaizumi pants, his whole body covered in sweat as he attempts to keep up with Atsumu._

_“Two more.” Atsumu counters and just like that he is speeding up, forcing Iwaizumi to run faster. “Come on old man, ya used to be better than this.”_

_“I've been running errands for Ushijima all day,” Iwaizumi complains, “I'm tired.”_

_“Sure.” Atsumu teases, “errands. Is that what you oldies call it these days?” Iwaizumi stops, the implication behind Atsumu's words forcing his mind to begin thinking of everything he has been trying to forget. “Hey.” Atsumu says as he jogs back to meet Iwaizumi, “what's wrong?”_

_“Kiyoko is back.” Iwaizumi lets out, not seeing a point in holding it in. “She came back a week ago.” Iwaizumi pauses, his words coming out slower; “she contacted Ushijima two days ago.”_

_Atsumu studies him for a seconds before offering him a small smile, “that's good right?” He asks, “she is back to sign the papers? Things will be easier.”_

_Iwaizumi shakes his head, his mind already replaying the conversation he had with Ushijima earlier. “She wants another chance.”_

_“That's stupid!” Atsumu shouts. “Does she actually think Ushijima will ever give her a second chance?”_

_“He will.” Iwaizumi utters, “he told me he will.”_

_Silence follows after Iwaizumi's statement. Atsumu is looking at him with his mouth wide open, unwilling to accept that as the truth. “He can't,” Atsumu chokes, “you can't let him get back with her.”_

_Iwaizumi snorts, “They were always together. They are still married. They were just taking a break and now they can just resume where they left off.” That's what Ushijima had told him. “Ushijima made it clear he wants her.” The,_ not me, _is implied._

_Atsumu gets it, though his fists are tightly clenched by his side. “It's okay.” He says, reaching to place a hand on Iwaizumi’s shoulder. Iwaizumi lets his friend comfort him. He lets him fill the silence with encouraging words, though they do little to get rid of the pressure against his chest._

_Iwaizumi knows there is not much that’s going to get rid of the pain he feels. But at least, there is a part of him that does feel understood after talking to Atsumu. Maybe it’s because his words aren’t all that empty. Maybe it’s because Atsumu is good with words._

_Maybe it’s because Iwaizumi knows Atsumu understands what it's like to be put aside for someone else._

-o-

“Make him leave.” Suna hisses, standing tall next to Iwaizumi as Kuroo Tetsurou walks the remaining steps to reach them.

Kuroo doesn’t glance Suna’s way, though, by the way, he also straightens the moment he enters the group’s little circle, it’s clear he is aware of his presence. He greets Osamu and Oikawa first, having talked to Yaku earlier, before turning to offer Iwaizumi a nod.

Before an uncomfortable silence can form, Oikawa clears his throat and cuts right to the point. “Heard you were blackmailed.” He blurts. Osamu and Iwaizumi turn to give him identical incredulous looks.

Kuroo snorts, drinking from the glass he has before nodding. “Sakusa-dono doesn’t like the word blackmail.” He says, lifting his glass in mock cheer towards the group before downing it. “We came to an _agreement_.” The last word is all but spat out.

“Funny how that happens.” Suna quips, sipping from his drink and Kuroo finally takes the time to face him. When their eyes meet, their friends feel the air thin out.

“Suna.” Kuroo chooses to say, visibly biting back words.

“Play nice.” Iwaizumi grunts before Suna can respond. “I’m sure Sakusa-dono would have a field day catching the two of you fighting.”

Suna blinks, a thought crossing his mind. “Do you think he will kick us out?”

Kuroo laughs. “If only getting out if this were that easy.”

“What kind of dirt does he have on you, anyway?” Oikawa asks before Suna can make another remark. Suna steps back, getting the hint from Oikawa, though a part of him is also curious to hear the response.

For his part, Kuroo takes his time thinking over his answer. By the expression Yaku wears it’s clear that he knows the answer. Iwaizumi too seems to be privy to the information. “The one that will hurt someone else more than it can affect me.” Kuroo finally lets out, eyes travelling to Tsukishima.

Suna catches that gesture, blood beginning to boil, “you're used to hurting him anyways.” He sneers, earning a glare from Yaku and Iwaizumi while Osamu and Oikawa watch on amused.

Kuroo himself tightens his grip on his glass. “I'm not the only one who knows how to hurt him.”

-o-

_“What's it like?” Tsukishima asks once he is done with his fourth bottle of beer. “Loving Atsumu,” he clarifies, “what’s it like?”_

_Bokuto doesn't say anything for a while. His eyes are focused on the city in front of him, his legs hanging from the roof as he smokes his last cigarette. Tsukishima figured Bokuto would ignore his question, so he does nothing else to bother him, instead letting the silence forming around them calm his troubled mind._

_Bokuto does answer, however, after what seems like an hour. “It's like choosing to drown in a shallow pool.” He explains, his eyes never once losing sight of the bright lights of the city, “you can easily stand up and save yourself but you don't because you're addicted to that feeling of suffocation.”_

_Tsukishima laughs, the alcohol in his system forcing that sort of reaction. “How poetic.” He jokes, earning a small push against his shoulders. It's not until the next day when Tsukishima is puking his gut out that he thinks about Bokuto's words._

_He couldn’t agree more._

-o-

“Kuroo-san,” Akaashi calls out, joining the group with Komori. “It’s been a while.”

Kuroo’s face relaxes for a second, eyes softening as he studies Akaashi’s state. “Keiji.” He says fondly.

“Hajime!” Komori greets, reaching out for a handshake. “Is Lyn around?”

Iwaizumi gives him a deadpan expression. “You didn’t actually think I would bring my four-year-old daughter to this party.”

Komori pouts, “I haven’t seen her in weeks. You never let me come over.”

“Last time you came over you nearly burned down my apartment.”

Komori gaps. “That was Oikawa!”

“What?” Oikawa snaps, “Samu never lets me in the kitchen. It wasn’t me.”

“Your mistake was letting both of them visit at the same time.” Akaashi mumbles and Suna and Kuroo are quick to agree which results in an awkward staring contest between the two.

Yaku sighs, noticing they are beginning to draw in the attention of the people around them. Sakusa-dono even has his eyes on them. “Motoya.” Yaku calls out, grabbing his boyfriend’s hand before walking away.

Osamu catches on quickly. He meets Sakusa-dono’s gaze, but unlike Yaku, he doesn’t look away. He glares, straightening out his posture as he feels Oikawa press himself closer to him. “Osamu,” he says, taking his hand, “I think your brother is looking for you.”

Osamu knows the statement is both a truth and a lie. Without a doubt, Atsumu most likely wants to talk to him. Though probably not at this very moment. A part of him wants to let his boyfriend guide him away but Osamu hates losing, especially to an old geezer like Sakusa-dono.

“I need to greet Atsumu.” Akaashi suddenly says and Osamu feels his gaze snap towards him, caught off guard. He feels the pressure of Sakusa-dono’s gaze on his back but it’s not long until Akaashi’s facial expression twists into something unreadable and Osamu knows, Sakusa-dono is no longer focused on him. “It’s almost ten, I’m sure the speeches will start any minute.”

“Keiji,” Kuroo calls out concerned but Akaashi steps away before anyone can stop him. It’s then when Kuroo finally notices Tsukishima is no longer by Sakusa’s side. He meets his eyes from across the room where he stands next to Ushijima and is quick to excuse himself from the group, leaving in favour of walking over to him.

Suna relaxes when Kuroo is finally gone, though his shoulders sag once Kuroo reaches Tsukishima and begins a conversation with him. “He is doing this on purpose.”

Iwaizumi sighs, “you do know they are not together, right?”

Suna nods, though he gives no other gesture so Iwaizumi deems it right to change the topic. “Bokuto is sitting by himself.” He mumbles, gesturing with his head to where Bokuto is located.

“I talked to him earlier,” Oikawa says, feeling Osamu finally relax next to him, though his eyes stay focused on Akaashi who is waiting for Atsumu to finish a conversation with a group of nameless guests. “He doesn’t want to talk about what happened,” Oikawa adds.

“Any luck finding out what exactly happened?” Iwaizumi asks what’s left of their group.

“Tsumu is just as quiet about it,” Osamu says with a sigh. “He shuts down every time I bring it up.”

“Must’ve been something serious if we are all here celebrating Atsumu and Sakusa’s engagement,” Suna says, earning a glare from his friends for his lack of tact.

-o-

_“Put your leg on the table and take your shirt off gently.” Suna orders as he moves fast around the kitchen in search of a bowl. He only finds a small pot, everything else in Bokuto's kitchen is dirty or broken, but it will do. Suna fills it up with hot water and reaches for some cloth._

_Bokuto groans when Suna begins dipping the cloth in the water. “I can just take a shower later—”_

_“Your knee is fucked.” Suna deadpans, hands already moving the cloth over Bokuto's neck and shoulders. “You need to get that checked. I already called Iwaizumi, he is going to drive us to the hospital. In the meantime, I need to clean you up so it seems like you only got into a nasty fight.”_

_“I was beaten with a shovel,” Bokuto hisses, “I think I want to press charges.”_

_“Sure. Take the guy to court. Maybe he’ll get a chance to make a statement before Sakusa-dono kills him off.” Suna mocks just as he begins cleaning Bokuto's legs, making sure to avoid the right knee. “Bo,” He says after a short minute, “It’s pretty fucked up.” Bokuto flinches, “half your skin is peeling off.”_

_“So is that why it burns?” Bokuto jokes though neither of them cracks a smile._

_Suna sighs, his heart pounding as he glances over Bokuto's injury. He wonders for just a second if his tears will come first or his lunch. “You're a fucking mess.” He ends up choking out._

_“Hey,” Bokuto coughs out, wincing as he involuntary moves his leg, “I'm hurt, be nice to me.”_

_“I should call Atsumu. I should let him know you’re back. I’m sure he can figure something out. They can’t get away with this—”_

_“Don't you fucking dare.” Bokuto shouts, reaching to grab Suna’s hands that are cleaning the blood from his back. “Sunarin, he can't know I'm here.”_

_He sounds desperate and the way his eyes start filling up with tears is enough for Osamu to sigh in defeat. “You're probably going to need twenty stitches all over your body yet you only pull the waterworks when I mention Atsumu.” Suna pulls his hands away from Bokuto. He stands up, grabbing the pot to change the water. “He's fucked you up good, huh?”_

_Bokuto just shakes his head, shoulders dropping as he focuses on his injury, “I'm the only one who’s fucked anything up.”_

-o-

“Why are we running away?” Komori huffs, following his boyfriend without much of a choice. Yaku doesn’t reply and instead continues to walk until they make it to a table where two figures sit, conversing lightly. Komori groans at the sight of the two men before he lets himself collapse on the chair. “So I guess we are doing this.”

“Doing what?” Ushijima asks, head tilted to the side.

“Conversing with the traitors, I assume,” Kita adds.

“Traitors?” Yaku snorts a laugh, “who called you that?”

“Osamu, in a rather imprudent way,” Kita says with a smile though they can all hear the strain in his voice. “Though I’m surprised he had little to add to that.”

“Traitor works,” Komori says, eating from the snack on the table.

“Motoya,” Yaku warns, finally taking a seat next to him.

“Traitors?” Ushijima asks, “why?”

“For siding with the enemy.” Komori quips.

“For accepting to bear witness of Kiyoomi and Atsumu’s wedding,” Kita explains properly and Ushijima nods in understanding. Though he frowns moments after, disliking the implication in the nickname.

“It’s not like we had much of a choice.” Ushijima states.

“They asked me, I said no,” Komori remarks.

Kita sighs. “If Wakatoshi refused they would have asked Akaashi.” He says surprising both Yaku and Komori. Ushijima frowns, giving Kita a warning look but Kita ignores him. “And if I refused, like Osamu, Oikawa, and Rintarou, they would have asked Bokuto. Forced, actually.”

Komori stares dumbfound. “Wh-what?!”

Yaku rubs his temples. “You can’t be serious.”

Kita is always serious so there is no need to wait for a response. They both sink to their seats, feeling guilty for their earlier thoughts on both Kita and Ushijima. Komori apologizes and mentions his intention in clearing up the situation with everyone but both Kita and Ushijima ask him to keep it between them.

“At least until after the wedding,” Ushijima stresses, voice stern so Yaku doesn’t argue against him.

Though it doesn’t sit well with Komori. “Even if all our friends believe you’ve switched sides?” He adds with an eyebrow raised. “It’s not pretty what everyone is saying about you guys. Osamu already gave Kita an earful and isn’t Iwaizumi ignoring you, Ushiwaka?”

Ushijima goes rigid.

“Ah,” Kita starts, “that may be for an entirely different reason.”

-o-

_“How long will Iwaizumi be gone?” Bokuto asks right after he opens his second can of beer._

_Ushijima frowns, glaring at the beer can, “you shouldn’t be drinking. At least not in front of Lyn.”_

_Bokuto rolls his eyes, extending his arm to meet Lyn's swinging hands. She grabs a hold of his finger, giggling when Bokuto makes a face at her. “For all she knows, this is coke.”_

_“Iwaizumi will murder me if he smells beer on Lyn,” Ushijima argues, his hands pulling Lyn closer to his body and away from Bokuto. Lyn bounces up and down on his lap, demanding to be put closer to Bokuto. Ushijima heeds with a sigh, “and to answer your questions, he will be back this weekend. He just needs to sort things out with_ her. _”_

 _Bokuto laughs, eyes crinkling causing Lyn to giggle. “First off, the only thing Iwaizumi will smell on Lyn is your cologne, since you haven’t let go of her since he handed her to you.” Ushijima blushes, much to Bokuto's amusement. “Secondly,_ her _? Really? Do you still refuse to say her name?”_

_“She hid her pregnancy from Iwaizumi.”_

_“Iwaizumi already forgave her.”_

_Ushijima frowns. “You're one to talk.” He says, knowing well that Bokuto treats Sakusa the same way he treats Lyn's mother._

_Bokuto tsk's, leaning away from Lyn as she finds enjoyment in playing with her toes. “you're seriously going to bring that up?”_

_Guilt crosses Ushijima’s features, “I'm not. Sorry.”_

_Bokuto smiles, “it's okay.” He affirms trying to push all thoughts of Sakusa away from his head. “I really hate him.” He adds because he feels petty, though a part of him knows his dislike is both mild and irrational. It mostly stems from his actual hatred towards his father._

Sakusa-dono. _Bokuto thinks mockingly, picture the man burning in a building or getting run over by a car. Whatever is more painful._

-o-

“You’re a popular guy today, Kei-kun,” Oikawa says right as he and Osamu make themselves comfortable at Tsukishima’s table. They have been trying to talk to the blonde for a while now but guests and paparazzi were always a step ahead. “Everyone wants to talk to you.”

“Everyone wants to talk to you too,” Tsukishima replies with a dismissive hand wave. “If only Osamu-san would relax a little and let you out of his sight.”

“Hilarious.” Osamu grunts, pouring himself a drink from the bottle of liquor that sits on the table. “Where did Kuroo go?” He asks, looking around the room in search of said man.

“I shouldn’t have come.” Tsukishima moans instead of replying. “Kill me, please.”

Oikawa laughs, reaching over to pat his shoulder in comfort. “Is this because of your family selling the company?” He questions, having heard an earlier comment from one of the reporters of the new business deal Sakusa-dono had concluded. It would explain why Sakusa-dono had no problem approaching Tsukishima earlier in the night. And also why Kuroo is keeping a safe distance most of the time.

“Or are the two idiots being idiots?” Osamu asks in all seriousness, finally catching sight of Kuroo who seems to be arguing with Suna while Akaashi watches on with clear annoyance.

“My father has agreed to retire next year. Sakusa-dono wants me to work for him for the next two months to get used to the pressure of the CEO position.” Osamu and Oikawa wince. “I obviously can’t refuse. I’m fucked.” Oikawa pats his shoulder a few more times while Osamu reaches over to refill Tsukishima’s drink.

“As for those two…” Tsukishima starts, head lifting for just a second to focus on Kuroo and Suna. “I don’t even know where to start.” Tears are threatening to spill from Tsukishima's eyes, the couple notices. They both hesitate, unsure of what to say or do to ease Tsukishima’s frustration.

Osamu thinks of something encouraging to say after downing his drink but before he can get his mouth to open, a murmur breaks out through the hall and his attention is drawn to his brother.

-o-

_“No,” Bokuto says, and just like that, Atsumu's world comes crashing down._

_“Y-you—what?” He chokes out, his heartbeat quickening as Bokuto's response plays over and over again in his head._

_No. No. No._

_“No,” Bokuto repeats, tone neutral while his face clearly shows a look of indifference. There is a long pause after that. Bokuto stares at him while Atsumu allows the silence to fill the slowly increasing void in his heart._

_Atsumu opens his mouth to try to say something—anything, but;_

_“I don't want to marry you.”_

_Atsumu swallows. His stomach drops as the words completely sink in. His extended hand closes the small box with the ring while his legs begin to shake. As an afterthought, he thinks that he made the right choice by not going down on one knee. If that had been the case, then surely he would have looked even more pitiful._

_“No?” Atsumu whispers, his arms hanging loosely on either side of his body as he inclines his head downwards. He feels his body weaken. I’m gonna fall, he thinks, the tears starting to gather up in his eyes._

_“No,” Bokuto confirms. Atsumu doesn’t lookup. “Sorry.”_

-o-

“It’s almost ten,” Sakusa says, loosening his tie with his free hand while the other holds his champagne glass. “We can’t put it off any longer.”

Atsumu feels his body tense regardless of the effort he puts into attempting to look unaffected. He smiles, leaning in closer to Sakusa as he gives a small hum in understanding. _People are watching,_ he reminds himself _, people are_ always _watching._

“Short ‘n sweet?” He jokes, putting his drink down on the table before adjusting his suit cuffs.

Sakusa hums, finishing his drink before placing the glass on the table. Atsumu watches him the entire time, his eyes trailing down to the ring he wears before he glances at his own hand.

He forms a fist, hating the feel of the silver band. “Feel free to do most of the talking,” Atsumu adds. “I don’t really know what to say.”

Sakusa sighs before he nods in agreement. Atsumu knows the only reason Sakusa is being so agreeable is because he is well on his way to being drunk. He entered the tipsy stage four glasses ago. It’s always so surprising to see him handle his alcohol so well.

If Atsumu had indulged in drinking as much as his fiancé, this night wouldn’t be going as well as it was planned. He voices this as they make their way towards the side of the hall where the microphone is set up and where their parents wait for them.

“Maybe you should have drunk a little more, then,” Sakusa says, “you tend to do plenty stupid things while intoxicated.”

“Hey,” Atsumu whines.

“You’re more confident. Reckless.” A pause. “Honest.”

“I’m always honest with ya, Omi-kun.”

Sakusa slows down, almost barely walking forward. Atsumu matches his pace. “Just with me?” Sakusa asks softly.

Atsumu feels the hairs at the back of his neck stand up. “It’s easy being honest with ya,” Atsumu confesses, “you always believe me.”

Sakusa inhales, his hand reaching down to grab Atsumu’s hand. Atsumu lets him. “What we are about to do… is not sincere.”

“I know.” Atsumu swallows, “are ya backing down?”

Sakusa snorts, “you know I can’t do that.” He says, “I’m not strong enough.”

“And you think I am?” Atsumu asks, tightening his grip around Sakusa’s hand.

Sakusa stops walking, stopping Atsumu in his track just as they stand no more than eight steps away from their parents. “You are.” He says. Atsumu doesn’t look at him. He is too busy looking ahead at his parents, at his brother who has now joined them, at Oikawa who trails behind him. “You’ve always been the strongest.”

Atsumu looks to the side, he meets Sakusa’s parent's eyes and then he sees Komori with his parents, a few steps behind. He sees Yaku, who stands close to Komori and next to him stands Akaashi. His throat dries the moment they make eye contact. “ _Omi-kun—_ ”

“Until the end. I’ll be by your side until the end.” Sakusa says. “No matter what you decide.”

Atsumu barely hears the words. Sakusa is whispering, conscious enough of how everyone is now looking at them, watching, staring, waiting— Atsumu swallows one more time, finding the courage to seek out the one person he has been avoiding this whole time.

He finds him standing by the further left of the banquet hall, leaning against the wall, head tilted downwards. His black and white hair is neatly combed, in contrast to its usual horned style. He wears a regular black suit but Atsumu thinks he looks breathtaking, distinguished from the rest.

Atsumu’s heart beats hard against his chest He wants to call out to him. He wants his surroundings to vanish while he is left alone with just him. _Bokkun_ , his mind whispers, as he yearns to see those golden eyes one more time, even if the last time he saw them—

_No, I don’t want to marry you._

Everyone is looking at him, Atsumu once again notices, everyone but the only person Atsumu cares to be looked by.

What an earth-shattering observation.

“Will you run to Keiji-kun if I walk away right now?”

Sakusa doesn’t miss a beat in his response. “You know I can’t do that.”

The pain in his voice is enough for Atsumu to push his body to move. He lets go of Sakusa’s hand and instead raises his arm just slightly for Sakusa to wrap his arm around it. “So if neither of us have anyone to run to, we gotta stick together, yeah?” He says before taking those last few steps forward.

From the far left of the room, Bokuto folds in on himself. He closes his eyes tightly until he hears someone test the microphone and Atsumu’s mom calls out for everyone’s attention. He looks up, immediately catching Sakusa-dono’s eyes.

He doesn’t look away.

-o-

_“You can run away,” Akaashi tells him, cigarette in between his lips. “Together, of course. Far away.”_

_“This isn’t a movie.” Bokuto replies, reaching for the pack of cigarettes Akaashi offers._

_“America is an option. As in the States.” Akaashi continues, “or maybe somewhere south. Argentina? Brazil? Chile?”_

_“Akaashi,” Bokuto inhales, “he can’t leave his family.”_

_Akaashi hums, “he would if you asked him to.”_

_Bokuto frowns. “Why does it have to be us? Why don’t you—“ He cuts himself off, realizing his anger got the best of him. He turns away from Akaashi, afraid of catching sight of the look of sadness he often wears when they are talking about this._

_“Why don’t I do something?” Akaashi sighs, shoulders sagging. “Because I am a coward.” He says, “because I have no money. No power. No say in anything.”_

_“‘Kaashi—”_

_“Because it doesn’t matter how much I love.” He says louder this time, interrupting Bokuto. “My love amounts to nothing.”_

_Bokuto knows that those words aren’t his own. He has, after all, heard them before._ Love amounts to nothing _— those are words that come straight from the mouth of a tyrant. Those are words meant to tear a soul down. Words that easily destroy whatever porcelain illusion they have circling their heads._

_Bokuto has nothing to say to that. Akaashi doesn’t say anything else either. They finish the pack of cigarettes that night._

-o-

The speech is short and sweet.

Atsumu’s parents talk for five minutes and then both Atsumu and Sakusa take turns in saying their rehearsed words within ten minutes. Sakusa-dono is the last to speak, thanking the guests for arriving and dismissing the press before confirming that everyone in attendance is cordially invited.

March 1st, 2021. The day his son will marry the heir of the Miya empire and both Sakusa Enterprises and Miya Inc. will finalize their contracts.

The couple shares a brief kiss for the cameras. The banquet hall empties pretty fast after that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> You can also talk to me on twitter: @Sun_kissed5


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